I am seriously so depressed... I miss my cat so much, it is really affecting the way I live.  I planted a garden, I worked really hard at  it, I did everything from seed...while I would work in the garden my cat would keep me company. I would chat with him and just enjoy his company. He is the only one in a very long time that loved me and didnt expect anything from me but to be loved back. I cant even go into my garden. He is buried right next to it, under the peach tree by Cutter and Quiche... I dont want to face his little grave, I dont want to believe he is gone... I was trying so hard to take joy in the simple things in life.....I was so happy in my garden with my little friend...and now he is gone.....everyone wants something from me, my kids, parents, husband, my temple...always clawing at me to give them all I have and I do....no one appreciates the efforts I make, ...as I write this, sobbing, my kids walk by my room, oblivious to my cries and my pain...Merlin would have been right here, letting me know how much he loved me and never expecting anything more from me than a scratch under his chin or a kiss on the cheek... I feel like I have lost my peace of mind...the two things I had that kept me sane, that calmed my soul and gave me such joy are now gone... I was so proud of my garden, taking pics of it as it progressed, enjoying the calming nature of watching my cat laze under the fig tree, him meowing his responses to the questions I asked him. Was I too attached? Is he gone because I needed to focus my attentions on my family instead? I never put him above my family in the since that he was fed better or sheltered first,  I feel so empty without him and my garden is going to shit...and the pain wont stop..my little friend deserved so much better than for his life to be ended by a irresponsible driver...the fucking street lights were just upgraded, it's like high noon at 10pm, there is no way that they could not have seen him...and yes, I know it was my fault for not keeping him inside, and that is probably why I hurt so bad.. I failed him.. I should have protected him better than I did.  I am so sorry, Merlin... I love you so much