Good things and bad things, typical of life....my gramma is dying...this is killing me as I have now lost the last year of her life. Another thing to blame Jayden for, but I HAVE to let go of this bitterness and move on. She has very aggressive lung, liver and brain cancer. AT 85 she has lived a good life, even with her struggles with mental illness, she has been a damn good gramma and an inspiration to me. I will miss her horribly when she quits her material body but I know that she is eternal. The funny thing is, I have my Hindu ideas of how things will be when I quit my body... I will reincarnate as my Karma dictates and try this again until I have reached God consciousness. However, when I think of my Catholic gramma leaving her body, I believe she will go to the arms of Jesus and be reunited with my grampi in heavenly glory. I wonder why I am like this? I cant imagine my gramma reincarnating. I just guess I believe that whatever belief the person has is what is true for them. I dont know. This is hard and ugly for me. I just want her to go painlessly and hope she knows how much I love her.
Good things so I can stop crying.... Logan moved into the temple...he so needed to do this. He was really walking a rocky path and I am still not certain our marriage is going to survive this trial. Jayden is still in the hands of the state, where he will remain, and Logan cannot leave until his probation officer gets him a transfer, and he wont leave until Jayden is situated. I cant say that I blame him but that doesnt make it any easier...but having him living at the temple will bring his mindset back to the spiritual and hopefully will have him focus on the things we need to make this family whole again. Padma is going to be taking Bharatyanatam lessons with her friend Seneca at a lovely lady's house in Sarasota on Sundays. I am very excited about this. Rama is going to karate school after school...We went to Janmastami in Alachu, it was nice. We go to a monthly kirtan at a yoga studio run by a really sweet and inspiring lady. I got to drive a 2013 convertible Camaro for 3 days which was the absolute highlight of my year (material I know, but I would give up food before I would give up my passion for Camaros) as usual I promise I will update this blog more, lol